


And what you wished for (could come true)

by Elske



Category: Project Blue Book (TV)
Genre: F/F, Internal homophobia, confessing, it was the 50s you know, soft vintage lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 03:50:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18003269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elske/pseuds/Elske
Summary: “Mimi, it’s okay.”“No. It isn’t. It really isn’t, Susie, and —oh, Susie, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, it’s just - from the first time we met, or practically, I can’t stop thinking about you.”





	And what you wished for (could come true)

**Author's Note:**

> No beta, no research, I love these vintage galpals.

Susie’s first thought is that Mimi looks awful - and it’s uncharitable, but it’s true. She’s never seen her friend this unkempt: answering the door in a faded housesress, no makeup, mussed hair, an unlit cigarette in one hand. (For a moment though, when she smiles at Susie, she is breathtaking, beautiful.)

“I’m so glad you’re here, please,” Mimi says, “I have to talk to you, it’s making me absolutely crazy.” She looks frightened, Susie thinks, and it’s enough to stir a little fear of her own.

“Is it about your husband? The man in your house? The government?” Her questioning is half-hearted now, the only purpose of the leading questions a genuine care as to what’s on Mimi’s mind.

“No, it’s nothing like that,” Mimi says. She sinks down on the sofa, the unlit cigarette shaking in one trembling hand. “It’s about me.”

Susie follows Mimi, sits close to her on the sofa. A little too close, probably, but she can’t bring herself to care just now. “Mimi, what on earth?”

Mimi can’t quite look at Susie; every bit of her body language is evasive. “There’s something wrong with me,” and her voice is small and dead and flat. She twists one of her hands into the fabric of her dress, clutches it tightly, her hand forming a taught white-knuckled fist. “I was so glad to meet you, Susie, I so wanted a friend. I needed a friend. Surely you’ve noticed I don’t have any friends?”

“There’s Donna?” Susie offers, and then instantly regrets mentioning the absent woman.

“She was just a neighbor,” she replies, making eye contact with Susie and then quickly looking away. “I don’t have friends, I don’t trust them, I don’t trust myself. I get too close to people, too close like I shouldn’t, and I feel things I’m not supposed to be feeling.” She drops her cigarette on the sofa, sighs, rakes her hands through her hair. “Susie, please, I’m afraid I’m going to shock you and disgust you, but promise you’ll let me finish before you leave? Please?”

Taken aback, Susie can’t help but lean in a touch closer to the other woman. “For heaven’s sake, I can’t imagine anything you could do that would disgust me.”

“Please. Susie.” She stares, unfocused, into a corner of the room, and there’s a long pause before she speaks again. “I don’t have friends because I’m afraid. Sometimes I feel too much, too quickly, and it’s not the way you’re meant to feel about your friends. A love feeling, and not like a sister or a motherly one. Love like you’re only supposed to feel for your husbands.”

There’s a quick silence then, and Susie swears she can hear her own heartbeat echoing through the whole room. “Mimi,” she whispers. “Oh, Mimi.”

“I don’t think you understand. It’s -oh, when I was young, when I was a newlywed, I had a best friend. She was clever and she was beautiful and I loved her too much, Susie. It was too much. I had a husband at home and I was going to have a baby, and I still thought about her all the time. I would have done anything to make her smile, and I —I dreamed of kissing her like I kiss my husband. It broke my heart, because it’s not possible.”

Susie can’t help it, she reaches out, touches the other woman’s arm. “Mimi, it’s okay.”

“No. It isn’t. It really isn’t, Susie, and —oh, Susie, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, it’s just - from the first time we met, or practically, I can’t stop thinking about you.” She meets Susie’s eyes, finally. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I try to sleep and my husband’s up into the night scribbling secrets into his damn books and when I close my eyes all I can think of is you. I remember all the times you touched me? I think about your hands and your warmth and I think about how you’d never dared get so close if you knew what was wrong with me. So. Now you know. And you’re free to go away and do what you like, only please, please, say you’ll keep my secret?” 

Susie watches as her friend’s eyes fill with tears. “Oh, Mimi,” she whispers, shifting her position on the sofa so she can pull the other woman into her arms.

“I’m sorry,” Mimi whispers, “Oh, Susie, I never meant to, please believe me.” 

“Did you think...did you think you were the only one?” Susie reaches out, cups Mimi’s face with her hand, brushes tears away with her fingertips. “You’re not, dear, you’re not not the only one at all.” She can’t help it, she tips her head in, kisses at Mimi’s cheek twice, three times, kissing away her tears.

“It’s okay,” she whispers, in between kisses. “It’s okay, Mimi, please believe me,” and Mimi sniffles, opens her eyes, and kisses Susie feather light on her lips.

“But what on earth do we do now?” She breathes, and Susie doesn’t think of all the practical things that might be between them - she just smiles, and presses Mimi back against the soft sofa, and they kiss again, and again, and again.

**Author's Note:**

> If you’re wondering, yes? I guess I *am* going to give all my stories for this fandom parenthetical comments in the titles?


End file.
